Truth That Won't Let Go

I just completed my very first English camp here in the Czech Republic!! My husband Daniel has done many over the years but this was my very first one. We are exhausted and weary but know that we are tired because we have given ourselves fully to loving those who participated in this camp with us and have spiritually fought a battle beyond our comprehension. My mind and body ache from exhaustion but my heart burns with the hope of people placing their faith in Christ for the very first time. This year the evening sessions were focusing on the "Story of God" and sharing a summary of several different stories from the Bible that show the redemptive character of God and His love relationship with man through out the Bible. We had a few students at this camp that had never heard anything about God so everything they were hearing was all new to them and their enthusiasm and joy was contagious!! It is so outside of the cultural box here to believe that God is actually real, that for them to consider that God is real and that He personally and deeply loves them is a Huge step!

Camp was a crazy experience because there was definitely a lot of intense spiritual opposition to the Gospel but God is the pursuer of hearts and He is faithful to never allow His purposes to be thwarted. His Word truly is living and active and it calls our hearts to respond. The truth is something that cannot be ignored or pushed off to the side to be dealt with another day - it demands a response. The students at our camp were truly faced with the reality of who Jesus is... not just in theory, but who is He to them personally. Several chose to not believe and to walk away but a few students just could not walk away. They were captivated by this truth that would not let go. They still have many questions and are trying to process all that they heard, but a new joy and hope has been born in their hearts and they now have a new community of friends that desire to see them believe. Please pray with us that the truth would not return void and that the seeds that have been placed in their hearts would be given time to mature and grow.

Please pray for us as we begin our second camp. May our hearts fully invest once more and may we give ourselves fully to the cause of Christ! May God's spirit and love be alive in us as we interact with students and leaders and may we have bold faith in the midst of the intense opposition to His truth.

Refinement and Revelation

Spring has arrived and with the beautiful, warm sunshine has come a new excitement about life and a restored sense of purpose in our hearts of why we are here and what we feel God is asking of us. During the winter months we were busy getting settled into life here in Orlova, learning the language and trying to figure out where we fit in the church that we are working with. It truly was a time of refinement for our hearts and of definition for our ministry. As so often is the case, God had different plans for us than we had realized and as we stepped forward into this new adventure it became abundantly clear that what we had thought we had come to accomplish was not exactly what God had planned. As our circumstances continued to unfold and everything around seemed so uncertain, dark, and out of control we came to a place that we felt very defeated and discouraged. We were not sure what God was trying to do and we so badly desired to follow His leading but were unsure of what He was asking of us.

Through the help of some of our dear missionary friends and a very committed Multnomah Seminary professor, God began to make it clear that this season of confusion, frustration, and doubt were meant to stir some things in our hearts and to purify us as His servants. There were many areas that we needed to hand over to Him with full confidence and allow His love to flow through us and His grace to perfectly cover us. At the end of all of our struggling and wrestling to discover His will, God desired for us to simply come to Him and what He desired from us was full obedience. So often we try to make God's will so complicated but He simply was asking us to trust and obey, cliché sounding I know, but beautiful when it is truly lived out.

Don't get me wrong, obedience is no small task. Obedience is costly, demanding, and all consuming, but it is a natural outpouring of a love relationship with our God. When we love Him and respond in obedience, our obedience not only draws us closer to His heart but it allows others around us to encounter God in fresh, relevant, and practical ways. They are invited to surrender their lives in obedience, not out of guilt, shame, or expectation but out of love...love is the only setting that allows trust and obedience to not only become a natural response but to also bear fruit.

We are still in midst of uncertain circumstances. The area of the world that we are serving in is still very dark and often times lacks optimism and hope, but our hearts are not the same as we move through this process. Our God has been faithful, gentle, and kind as He has seen us as worthy of redemption and has not given up on these hearts that must be purified by His Holy fire. We still have many lessons to learn on how to fully trust, love, and obey but for now we are moving forward one day at time and humbly bringing the pieces before God and asking that He teach us how to respond. With the new Spring has come hope that God has not forgotten us. In His graciousness He so lovingly brings us back to Himself and allows us to see that He is the giver of new life, He is the reason for deep and never ending hope, and He is the source of love that transforms lives.

The Tenderness of Belonging

Praise the Lord, we have a home!!
The very first week that we were here in Orlova, Daniel and I were looking for places to live and posted on one of the bulletin boards was a picture of a little apartment that as very charming and I just know in my heart that was where we were to live and so I said to Daniel, "That is home". Well, it wasn't as simple as all of that because, Daniel and I, not being citizens of the Czech Republic, are not allowed to own property here, so it was not going be possible for us to own this sweet little place. We talked with the owners and discussed the possibility of us renting it from them, but it was not going to work out financially for them, so the door seemed to be closed and God did not seem to opening up any other options. We found another place and liked it but financially it was a bit risky for us and so we felt uneasy about it. I was beginning to feel the first wave of culture shock and really felt that I did not belong anywhere in this town. I felt very alone and isolated and was discouraged because finding a home was becoming more and more difficult. I sat down to read my Bible and spend some quiet time with God and all of these emotions welled up inside of me and began to pour out of my heart. I sat and cried and explained to the Lord how heavy my heart was, how lonely I felt, and how deeply I longed for a place to belong. I felt like a little girl crying over something so silly, something so trivial. I really didn't have it all that bad, I had a roof over my head, food to eat, and a warm bed to sleep in. I felt so ungrateful for the good things that I had and yet I could not stop my emotions from spilling out but in the vulnerability of that fragile moment, God chose to reveal Himself to me in the most personal of ways. He tenderly reminded me how deeply He loved me and that my emotions, feelings, and desires matter to Him. He reaffirmed that He knew and understood my needs before I even knew of them and that His ways our perfect, without fault or defect in any way. He had a plan and I just needed to trust in Him completely.

A few days following my tender moment with the Lord, Daniel had a conversation with the lady that owned the apartment that I liked so much and it had just been sold that day, but the people buying it wanted to rent it out and she wanted to know if we were interested! :) Praise the Lord, Yes we were interested and this home came directly from His hand! The owner commented later, "what a coincidence that I happened to talk to you that day". We believe it to be so much more than a coincidence, that it was God's plan unfolding! :)
Well, after several months of many conversations and many details needing to be worked out, this little place is indeed our home, directly from the hand of God! :)

This week has been a very eventful week for us here in Orlova because we were finally able to move into our new little apartment!! It is difficult to put into words how it feels to be so far away from home and unable to really have a place that you belong. The feelings of displacement and disorientation had been weighing heavily upon us these last several months and so it was with great rejoicing and celebration that we moved our belongings into our sweet little apartment! Our hearts our full as we remember the tender and personal ways that our God chooses to reveal Himself to us. We are undeserving of the blessings that flow from His good and faithful hand and may I faithfully learn to trust that hand wherever it may lead me.

Reflections on our Summer

The highlight of our summer was celebrating my parent's 40th anniversary. We were able to go on a trip to the beautiful state of Alaska and spend a week exploring, hiking, and enjoying some of God's most amazing creation. We also enjoyed some pretty incredible food while we were on this trip. It seemed like every time we turned around we were eating. It truly was a blessing to be able to have this time with my mom and dad before heading over seas. We made some wonderful memories that will definitely be treasured for years to come. if you ever get the chance to visit the frozen North, I would highly recommend it!

Packing up Portland

It has been six wonderful years that I have gotten to live in this little house with the red door, but now the times are a changing. I sit surrounded by boxes spread across the floor and piles and piles of stuff... or better known as memories. It is a strange feeling deciding what stays, what goes, what to remember and what to forget. My life has seen a lot of change and transition in the last six years, but my heart has undergone even more. I will treasure the lessons that I learned here in Portland because I know that I am leaving here a different person. Learning to live what I believe, in confidence and community, has altered the way I embrace each day. As I look around this little house my memory is flooded with moments that my heart will hold forever. The late night conversations that exposed glimpses of our souls, tears of joy and sorrow shed and shared, laughing till our sides ached and still not being able to stop, praying till we saw change, and resolving to never be the same. It is strange that the "things" you want to take with you are not possesions that boxes can hold, but only things that the heart has deeply felt, known, and owned. Thank you to all of you who shared in this stage of my life. You made it richer than you could have imaged and I am deeply grateful. You will be missed and will never be forgotten!